Crazy Little Thing

Posted: 20.05.06 in Blogging

I feel compelled to write something about love. My love has never been requited. So I wonder, why bother? If I keep my mouth shut, the result is heartache and anguish. If I were to open my mouth, the result is heartache and anguish, but for two people. There may be someone I really like, but I do not want to act upon it. I know the feeling is not mutual; there is no common interest at all. Furthermore, I believe that for all concerned, it would be better for me to keep quiet.

This, I fear, will not stop my pining. Having said that, I have made a good job of keeping my feelings withheld from the wider world. But I wonder whether the long terms benefits of keeping quiet are any better than declaring my intentions (and, indeed, vice versa). Perhaps I’m not in love. So there – why cause ruptions in people’s lives when I am not even sure of how I feel?

The classic symptoms are there. Faster heart-rate, dilation of the pupils, weakened and shivering arms, slight dizziness. But then that all happens when I go to see Newcastle United play, and they score. Is that love? Ask Descartes.

So what’s the point in this post? I dunno. I like the comfort of talking to myself whilst allowing others to vaguely understand my feelings and possibly contribute to the House of Commons inside my head. Some may encourage me to act upon my feelings, but it won’t happen. Unless – of course – a move is made by a certain someone-else! But that is doubtful.

Perhaps I expect too much from love.

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Comments
  1. [ Shell ] says:

    Maybe it’s just lust.

  2. Steve says:

    It did pass my mind…*Dreams*

  3. wl says:

    This Thursday night, I listened to a programme about ‘Missed Opportunities’. I felt it was encouraging. See how it works for you.,,
    Presenter: why is it that you have a missed opportunity? It all puts down to the rejection there. Because you just think the person wouldn’t want to be with me anyway. So you kind of walk away from it. Then you kick yourself afterwards… I believe in fate. I do believe in fate. I believe if you’re meant to meet somebody at a certain place at a certain time, it will happen. You know, you can’t change your fate.

    Lady: ,I would say nothing stupid but to let the conversation going, and if she did feel embarrassed or stupid, it doesn’t matter, cause you might not see him again, cause it might be a missed opportunity. (Presenter: yeah, the worst is that it doesn’t work out, but that’s it.)Girl: you should definitely take the chance. I did just that last October on my way back to uni. I started to talk to this block on the train and we chatted the whole journey back and swapped phone numbers and emails and stayed in touch. He then asked me to meet up with him. And we’ve been totally in love ever since. I can’t imagine life without him. So go for it. Vicky: with regards to missed opportunities, a few years ago, I had a long gaze with somebody in the library. I was working for some exams. And I thought I blew it, as upon returning after my getting a book, the guy had gone. Fortunately, he left a phone number under my pencil case and everyone else in the library who has seen was so excited. I called him, and we went out for a little while. Well, things didn’t work out but I had a great night with him. If you have a missed opportunity, don’t let it get you down. But in the future, you should always go for it. You have nothing to lose. Peter: ,I was doing shopping with my mum in the supermarket and a girl — my current girlfriend — was going down the aisle and shouting something and 20 minutes later I asked for her phone number at the checkout and four years since we’ve been going out. And she has helped me through many hard times. (Presenter: do you almost feel that is that fate thing?) Oh, definitely! Definitely! If I didn’t give it a try, it would have happened. A billion things could have been different if it hadn’t happened. But it did happen. So yes, fate definitely has a part to play. (Presenter: and you were the one that went to ask for her number. Did you feel that was a bold thing to do? Is that something you would have normally done? Or was it something you thought I have to ask for her phone number? You know, was it out of character for you? ) it was definitely out of character for me. At that time, yes, it was terribly out of character of me. I don’t know why and I still don’t know why today but I’m happy I did. (Presenter: you are a guy, so would you feel, if the situation would be reversed there in the supermarket, and your girlfriend (now) actually asked you for your phone number, how would you have felt about that?) I think I’d have been quite flattered. I don’t know how,I think I would definitely be quite flattered. More than willing to tell her at least. (Presenter: so Kelly shouldn’t worry about that then?) Oh, no, not at all. I think people should be kind of more open. They just need to talk to each other. Not have to worry about consequences really! Presenter: fear of rejection. That’s what’s Kelly talking about earlier tonight. So fear of rejection? Do you think it is ok if a girl approaches you if you’re a guy? Or do you think it’s the man’s job to actually go up and do the chatting up here? Ann: I was keen on a chap that I’ve known from a social group for about a year. Then I plugged the courage to ask him out. I was very afraid of rejection. But I texted him and he said yes. And we’ve been going out for six weeks. And so far it’s going really well. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. To ask him out and I’ve never done it before. I would encourage any woman to do it and it’s worth the risk of being rejected.
    ,,(I’ve recorded the programme (for private use only) and I’ve just done a dictation (not able to catch certain words). Hehe…good practice for my English!)As the old saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side. Your girlfriend is YOUR girlfriend, which is on your side of the fence. But if you don’t have one, there’s no fence at the first place, so, it’s nice to have a company but it’s also nice to be on your own. So long again, oh…sorry!

  4. Steve says:

    Hehe, no probs, it just takes as long for us to read it as it does you to write it! So don’t worry about the length!

    It’s no so much the fear of rejection, it’s part of a wider scheme of things. I’m not sure whether, in the frameset of my mind as it is at the moment, whether a relationship could work in the first place. I would be dismissive, secretive and withdrawn. This isn’t a good basis for a relationship.

    Also, like I have said, how can I be sure it is love – or indeed anything like it? And if fate was to play a role in this, it would have come in a different form. In fact, if fate was meant to draw us together, it has succeeded only in drawing us apart.

  5. wl says:

    Hey, get rid of this blog thing, for if you write something, you have to sort your thoughts and that apparently leads to a state of excessive pondering (which might lead to others’ excessive pondering). And now I’m gonna catch the last chance to comment before it gets abandoned.  I assume this girl is someone you’ve known since an early age. If you don’t go out with this certain girl, it’s really difficult for you to work out whether you like her or it is the memory of liking her that you can’t get out of mind. Being dismissive, secretive and withdrawn adds to your mystery and lady-killer temperament (to someone), but also discourages girls from telling you how they feel. But maybe, I’m thinking if she knows this site and if she’s fond of you, there is a possibility that she might be encouraged by these stories and actually take the first move. If that happens, you then own me an ice-cream! (Please girl, contact him, for your own sake and for my ice-cream’s sake.) Hehe, just kidding. Stop meditating and study. Exams’re coming!

  6. Steve says:

    Ah, I would ponder excessively with or without a blog.

    And who knows who does read this blog? Apart from you… lol
    But I would gladly get you an ice cream if something did happen… 🙂

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