Oh Life

Posted: 28.09.06 in Blogging

What a strange day. I went in this morning to Uni to do some revision sessions. Everything seemed to be fine. After the final revision session, as we were leaving, news filtered through that a student on our course, Andy, had died yesterday of an acute asthma attack. It knocked me sideways a bit, because it was so sudden. He was probably around the university yesterday.

I didn’t really know him that well, but there were some in my small group of friends, particularly Jayne, who were quite close to him having studied similar modules in the past couple of years, and were understandably devastated. I felt rather useless so I went home. But I felt I should have said something comforting, or even sent a text message of support. I tried both, but everything that I was saying in my head sounded useless. I hope all concerned are ok, particularly his family.

After that bombshell, the rest of the day seemed rather meaningless. It may be selfish to say this now, but I become quite intimidated by the thought of a death close by. I have been rather fortunate in that deaths occur around my periphery and I have not experienced anyone close to me dying: I have never been to a funeral. That’s not to say that those that have passed away that I have known of are not important, quite the contrary in fact: I very often think about Adam and Annalee. Both Adam and Annalee died after I had stopped seeing them regularly, and so I was not really close to them at the times of their passing. Having said that, the events still shook me.

I am quite scared of death. How do you get used to someone not being around any more? And when someone dies so suddenly, how can you hope to understand it? It’s such a waste of a promising individual.

  1. helen says:

    It’s true what they say that time heals. What you have to do is give yourself permission to morn in the way that is best for you, take as long as you need. Don’t become angry with the world. I have lost family and friends, some to old age, some to illness, accident and one suicide. It’s never easy but after a time you can think and remember the goods times and smile again. But it does take time.

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